


strike out

by backdoor (symmetrophobic)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Gen, M/M, chan being a mess, had the potential to become a slow burn but the author got tired, inspired by the skz fandom tour bowling ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28386180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symmetrophobic/pseuds/backdoor
Summary: Chan has sort of...something...with Felix. He's not very sure, and not keen to mess it up. (He's also a bit of a coward, sue him.)Jisung, being the self-declared best wingman in Chan's arsenal, decides to help them along.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 13
Kudos: 164





	strike out

**Author's Note:**

> inspired obviously by that skz fandom tour bowling episode [here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3Yj0jdJ0D0&ab_channel=TheK-POP).

Chan cannot have a boyfriend.

As the swim team captain, vice-chair of the student volunteering services body and doing freelance producing on the side, he does not have the time for a boyfriend, regardless of the takers Jisung always seems so enthusiastic about introducing to him.

Anyway, Chan does not _need_ a boyfriend, or so he tells himself firmly, sitting alone in the studio on the night of his birthday.

“Hyung,” Jisung says, bringing him back down to earth with a thud. He shoves a roll of bulgogi kimbap wrapped in aluminium foil at him, before thumping down in the other chair. “You really need a boyfriend.”

“No, no, I actually don’t, thank you,” Chan says hurriedly, the flashbacks of the last time Jisung had said something like this ringing through his mind. The potential suitor had been cute, yes, but the grand romantic gesture Jisung had planned to get the two of them together wasn’t, and Chan still has to duck into bathrooms when passing him in the hallway to this day.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Jisung says, folding his arms. Oh no. Chan knows the warning signs when he’s about to throw a temper tantrum. His entire tiny body puffs up like a blowfish, starting from his cheeks. What he _doesn’t_ expect are the glassy tears that start rolling down the other boy’s face. “ _Why_ are you sitting here by yourself on your birthday?”

“Yah, hey, don’t cry,” Chan says in concern, though seeing Jisung start tearing up is like a hammer to the back of the head. “Don’t cry,” he says, starting to tear up. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry!” Jisung hits him, before throwing his arms around him. “I’m s-sorry Binnie hyung and I can’t be with you all the time anymore,” he bawls. “B-but you can’t always be by yourself!”

“It’s not your fault, don’t trouble yourself over what happens to me,” Chan rubs his back, before trying to smile. “Who says I’m not happy by myself?”

“Don’t pretend, I’ve read all your song lyrics this year,” Jisung blows his nose noisily into a tissue. _Dammit._

“I have you, and Binnie, and the rest of the guys, don’t I?”

“It’s not the _same_. There are so many people who want to be with you, hyung, why don’t you just give one of them a chance?”

Chan takes a deep breath, one that freezes over in his chest. He gives a tight smile. “Hyung will figure it out on his own. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

This is how Changbin finds them ten minutes later, wrapped around each other and sniffling, and stands in the doorway wearing a party hat and holding a slice of cake with a candle for a good few seconds.

“We were supposed to _surprise_ him, Sungie, not make him cry,” Changbin scolds later, once enough hugs have been passed around and there’s a sizable stack of used tissues in the bin. He’s still wearing the party hat.

“Well, I can’t say I wasn’t surprised,” Chan says drily, observing his puffy eyes in the reflective glass of the studio window.

“I mean it!” Jisung says fiercely, making the other two jump. “Promise that you’ll open up to other people, hyung.”

Chan wants to say a lot of things. Like the fact that opening up isn’t and was never the problem, and despite how happy getting attached has made Changbin and Jisung, there are a whole host of issues Chan has to fix before he can allow himself to be with anyone. But explaining all this would take too long and hurt too much.

“Okay,” he says instead, nodding with a smile. “I’ll try.”

*

When school starts a week later and neither Jisung nor Changbin bring this up again, Chan assesses that it’s safe enough to forget about it.

Or so he thinks.

“This is Felix,” Minho introduces. He’s got that kitten smile on, the kind he wears when he’s plotting something, and Chan would be wary if he had the energy – as it is, he’s just trying to eat lunch with his friends without thinking about that sophomore on the swim team they’ll have to kick off if he misses another practice. The dancer gestures to the smiley blond freckled boy next to him, who waves. It’s a little blinding. “He’s a freshman who just joined the dance crew.”

They do this thing whenever school starts, where they sit at the row of long wooden picnic tables leading down to the rooftop corridor towards the science buildings during lunch, and talk about everything they’re doing this semester. The group’s changed here and there, since Jisung brought Minho in and Changbin left to spend lunches with his girlfriend, but it’s a comforting constant, nonetheless.

Lee Felix is from Sydney, Australia, the latest gem in the dance crew’s arsenal and a natural sciences major – he knows Jeongin because they stay in the same dorm block and go for dinner together sometimes. He’s wearing jeans and a big, fluffy baby blue sweater that makes him look tinier than he already is.

“My family moved two years ago for business stuff,” Felix explains, once they’re all eating later. He’s sitting next to Chan, and their knees keep accidentally bumping. “It took me a while to pick things up, so I came in a year later than Hyunjin.”

“That’s a long way from home,” Chan says sympathetically. He would know. “Has anyone shown you around the school yet?”

Felix blinks, with his wide, dark eyes. “No, not really.”

Jeongin makes an affronted noise from the other end of the table, then, hands on his hips. “Excuse-…” Jisung claps a hand over his mouth.

Chan narrows his eyes, but doesn’t comment. “Well, my schedule’s really packed, sorry, but if you’re free on Wednesday night I could show you around the different clubs, something to do if you have time left over from dance.” He looks around the table. “Anyone want to come with me to show Felix around?”

In retrospect, this uncharacteristic, drawn out silence is the moment Chan should’ve realized something was up. But he’s going on about three hours of sleep and his mind is currently at about five other places at once, so forgive him for being a little slow.

“Sorry, I have extra dance practice,” Minho says unapologetically.

“Me too,” Hyunjin pipes up.

“I gotta, uh, start on my elective project,” Jisung says briskly.

“Really?” Chan frowns. “You guys are all busy?”

Confused, Jeongin looks around. “I mean, I’m okay to-…” Jisung claps a hand over his mouth again.

“Well, tough luck,” the oldest sighs, before clapping Felix on the shoulder. The material of his baby blue sweater is softer than he’d expected, and Chan resists the urge to let his hand linger. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

“Haha, yeah,” Felix smiles, a cute, dozy sort of smile that makes him look like a duckling. “Tough.”

*

Chan is not the sort of person to form preconceived notions, or at least, he tries his best.

But the fact remains that Lee Felix is a very surprising person. It’s tough not to be, Chan supposes, when you look like the main protagonist of a kids’ cable TV programme but have the voice of an acapella bass.

“You game?” Chan’s eyes widen for the fifth time that night, after dinner. “Like, ranked?”

“Yeah. Why?” Felix asks. Felix, in yet another oversized sweater and chinos, this time, effortlessly sporting a pageboy look with the messenger bag over his shoulder, freckles covered up with makeup tonight.

“Nothing, it’s just kind of…” Chan’s sleep-deprived mind searches for the right word. For some reason, his brain keeps supplying the word _enthralling_. He swats it away absent-mindedly. “Cool.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Anyway, you know,” the older boy fumbles, not wanting to sound dumb. “Minho’s always talking about how he doesn’t have time to game when Hyunjin asks him. I thought you’d be busy.”

“You have to let off steam somehow, right?” Felix shrugs. “Some people watch Youtube, or meet friends, and I play League of Legends,” he gives him a hopeful glance. “We could play together sometime? If you want?”

“Uh, haha,” Chan says nervously. Never mind the fact that Felix mentioned he was ranked Grandmaster, and Chan’s been hardstuck Gold IV since he started playing the game in middle school. “Maybe sometime. Oh, anyway, here are the club rooms,” he gestures with a smile. “The umbrella committees are for Sports, Student Council, Volunteer Services and Arts…recruitment just ended, but if you’re interested let me know! I could probably pull you in.”

“Which ones are you in? Maybe I’ll join those,” Felix looks up at him with those bright, genuine eyes, and Chan trips a little over his next words.

“Sports and Volunteer Services,” Chan scratches the back of his neck, suddenly a little warm. _Oh no._ He knows this feeling. “I help my friends out in Council a little too, I guess. And for the Art showcases too. So uh, you’ll see me wherever you go, I guess,” he chuckles. “Tough luck.”

“Yeah,” the corner of Felix’s lips tilt upwards, as if he finds something particularly amusing. “Tough.”

They pop into the Sports room for Chan to grab a swimming brochure for Felix after that, then into the Council room, when Felix asks about the school’s annual events.

“This is a _nice_ room,” Felix admires. “Guess the Council’s where all the money goes. Look at their couch!”

“Oh, don’t touch that, you don’t know what that couch has seen,” Chan gently scoops Felix away from the couch, as they squeeze past a bunch of students sitting at the table. “But yeah, it’s a nice room, and everyone’s really nice, too. Hey, Minnie!”

The boy in question, wrapped up in a grey hoodie at the table, looks up from his colour coded bullet journal, through a thick pair of glasses. “Hi hyung. Oh, hey, are you…” he trails off when he spots Felix. They exchange stares for a moment, before Seungmin looks back at Chan, blinking innocently. “…showing this new freshman around the Council room?”

“This is Felix! Felix, this is Seungmin. He’s the general secretariat,” Chan looks between the two of them for a moment. “Have you guys met?”

If there’s an answer to that, Chan never finds out, because that’s when someone yells out a _yah, Bang Chan!_ from across the room.

“You owe me the swim team’s financial report and FY20 workplan,” Chaeyoung accosts him, tiny, fiery figure backing him into a corner of pails. “Who is this?”

“This is Felix, I’m just showing him around,” Chan gestures weakly. “Right, I’ll get that report to you, it’s just been really-…”

“Busy, I know. You know that’s your fault, right?” Chaeyoung prods his chest. She turns to Felix, who looks surprisingly unafraid. “Freshman? Don’t be like him. Most people don’t even dare to take up _one_ big 4 leadership role, and he’s got like, _three_. I don’t think he’s slept one night since high school. Have you, oppa?”

Chan’s about to protest, but Felix beats him to it. “I don’t know,” he says, shrugging with a shy smile. “I think it’s kind of cool - I don’t think I’d be able to live without dance either.”

That shuts Chaeyoung up for a bit, as she sideeyes Felix, but all Chan knows is that his ears are suddenly _burning_ hot. He hasn’t felt this way in a long, long time.

“Yeah. See,” he says weakly to an increasingly suspicious Chaeyoung, as Felix looks away blithely, towards the table of students. “What he said.”

He is so _screwed._

*

“No, you are not screwed,” Jisung scolds. His face is red from the little alcohol they’ve had to drink so far, and Changbin has already started to swap his drinks out for Coke. “This is a good thing, hyung!”

“I fail to see how,” Chan says drily. They’re all seated, cross legged, on the floor of Changbin and Hyunjin’s shared room, vodka in the centre, surrounded by 1.5l bottles of soda and pizza boxes. He’s balancing his laptop on one leg, trying to finish that report for Chaeyoung, with a slice of pizza and napkin on his other knee.

“You have a crush on him, maybe he has a crush on you, and the only way to find out is to ask him out! Then _bam!_ Date! Get married! Have babies!”

“That’s enough vodka, Sungie,” Changbin pats his back. “But seriously, hyung. What’s so wrong about asking this guy out?”

“Because I don’t have the time for a boyfriend, Binnie,” Chan says, not looking up from his struggle to find a professional way to phrase _he accidentally elbowed this dude in the balls_ in his accident report. “Maybe if he’s still single after I graduate.”

“(A), it’s funny how you think you’re going to be any less busy after you graduate,” Changbin rolls his eyes. “And (B), have you _seen_ Felix? As one of your few honorary straight friends, I gotta say that he is _extremely_ eligible bachelor material. And if you don’t make a move, then someone else will.”

Chan takes a deep breath, and looks up with a fixed smile. “Then maybe that someone can treat him better than I can. There. Everyone lives happily ever after.”

“Hyung, _no-_ …”

“You haven’t even _tried_!” Jisung interrupts. He looks like he’s about to start crying again, which makes Chan worried, because it means he’s going to start crying too, and Minho, Hyunjin and Felix are due to show up at any moment. “What if he doesn’t mind? You _know_ him, it’s not like you’re trying things out with a stranger!”

Chan stops typing, and sighs. He hates himself. He hates himself for getting himself in this situation in the first place, and even more so for just _considering_ the thought of a relationship with Felix. Because all he can think about is the way the dancer had spoken to him on Wednesday night, the way he’d looked at him with those stars in his eyes.

_Jisung’s right. You haven’t even tried. You haven’t tried for a long while. Maybe things have changed._

“Ooh, oh, he’s considering it,” Changbin says urgently, tapping Jisung’s shoulder. “Tell him about the plan!”

Chan takes it back. Jisung is not right.

“What _plan_?”

Jisung fixes him with a swaying, righteous sort of look. It’s a look that has preceded lots of brilliant ideas, and many more insanely stupid ones. “To date him, you have to impress him, right? So, you just have to do something you’re really good at in front of him!”

Chan massages his temples in anticipation of the oncoming headache, but the desire does tug at some deeply embedded, suppressed part of his ego. _Yeah, that sounds nice…_

“So I was thinking, _swimming_ ,” Jisung makes a grand movement. “Hyunjin’s in the recreational team, right? Felix and I could go find you and him for dinner after practice, and I don’t know, _accidentally_ walk into the sports complex ten minutes too early. And you just make sure you’re doing a butterfly drill at that time, show off your biceps. Or doing team captain shit,” he waggles his brows. “Everyone loves team captain shit. Gets them hot and bothered when you’re yelling at people and stuff.”

“Okay, not that I’m entertaining these ideas, or acknowledging the fact you just used _hot and bothered_ in a sentence, but,” Chan says, back to his report. “The swim team doesn’t allow spectators anymore, not after the cheating scandal last sem.”

“Hm,” Changbin says thoughtfully, then, and despite himself, Chan listens – Changbin typically doesn’t have lightning inspiration like Jisung does, but his suggestions are usually both workable and safe. “What about bowling?”

“Ooh, bowling!” Jisung nods. “Hyung, you’re great at bowling!”

Chan makes a face. “I haven’t bowled in a while, though…”

“It’ll be fine, you used to trash me and Minho all the time!” the youngest says enthusiastically, plowing through the embarrassed silence of both Chan and Changbin, who are too polite and too considerate to tell Jisung that it doesn’t actually take a lot of skill to trash him and Minho at bowling. “Anyway, you can’t _forget_ bowling, it’s muscle memory!”

“We can set it up like a bunch of friends just going out for fun,” Changbin suggests. “Then pull out your sick skills and hard carry him. Trust me, you’ll get laid by the end of the night,” he throws out a pair of fingerguns, and Chan lets out a deflated chuckle.

His heart jolts painfully as footsteps approach the room, and the door swings open as Minho walks in, followed closely by Hyunjin and Felix. “What are you losers talking about?” he asks, kicking off his shoes by the side.

Changbin, ever the hero, leans back against his bed, checking his phone. “Oh, nothing, just about that bowling alley we used to go to. We should go back one day, you know?”

 _This is going to go okay_ , Chan thinks, heart rate slowly returning to normal. _Just a bunch of friends going to go hang out at a bowling alley. No stress, no surprises_.

But then he forgets. He forgets that he is friends with Han Jisung, King of Bluff, who will always go big or go home.

Jisung wobbles up, cup of alcohol returned to his hand, and points straight at Felix. “If Chan wins you at bowling,” he declares. “Will you go out with him?”

There’s silence for a moment after that. Everyone is staring at Jisung with different intents – Minho looks amused, Hyunjin looks confused and a little embarrassed, and Changbin is slightly murderous. Chan just wants to die.

“ _Gosh_ , Han Jisung-…” Changbin starts, trying to salvage the situation.

But then Felix wiggles the other shoe off his foot, and steps into the room, unfazed. “What do I get if I win?”

Now, everyone’s staring at Felix. Chan feels like he’s just been slapped across the face, but in a strangely desirable and potentially addictive kind of way.

Jisung stammers. “Uh, a-anything, I guess.”

“You seem pretty confident he’ll win,” Felix sets his bag down. He has this way of saying things that makes it sound like he doesn’t actually know what he’s saying, and therefore lets him get away with it.

The other 2000-liner seems to regain some of his original gusto. “Chan is a bowling _ace_. He’s an average 170-pointer. He could bowl a strike _blindfolded_.”

“No, no, I actually can’t-…”

“It’s settled!” Minho claps his hands together, cruel kitten smile back on his lips. “We’re going next week. Now everyone shut up, and let’s eat some pizza.”

Chan is so fucking _screwed_.

*

“So here’s the breakdown,” Jisung says, when they’re on the way to the bowling alley. It’s a Saturday afternoon, early enough that they’ll get two side-by-side lanes easy.

Despite the overcrowded mess of Chan’s schedule, he hasn’t been able to get this thing off his mind for the past week. _Why_ the hell did Jisung have to open his mouth and make this stupid dare?

“On your team, there’ll be me, of course,” Jisung thumps his chest, probably thinking of it as some display of solidarity. “And Changbin,” Chan lets out a relieved breath, as Changbin does a peace sign. The other producing student’s probably the only one Chan trusts to hold a bowling ball. “And Hyunjin.”

“Is Hyunjin good?”

“He’s good. And insanely competitive,” Changbin rolls his eyes a little. “Don’t worry about him.”

“Who’s on the other team?” Chan asks nervously, as they climb the steps.

“First, Felix, the object of your affections,” Jisung counts on his fingers. “And Jeongin. I told him about the dare, so don’t worry, he really wants to see you get a boyfriend,” Jisung says, pushing open the door. The rush of cool air-conditioning hits Chan’s face, making him even more anxious. “And then there’s Minho, who unlike Jeongin, doesn’t need to pretend to be bad (sorry babe), and Kim Seungmin. He knows Jeongin and Felix.”

Chan squints, trying to remember if he’d ever seen Seungmin bowl. He does vaguely recall bowling with a skinny bespectacled kid who kept having to roll up his sleeves in high school.

“Okay,” he sighs. All this talk isn’t actually doing much to make him less worried. The thought of _winning_ Felix’s affections through a dumb game makes him sort of sick, to be honest – it’s the sort of thing that happens in foreign dramas and stories. It makes the whole thing so…cheap.

The rest of them are already there, and Chan’s stomach does this whirly thing he’d once seen a carnival ride do when he sees Felix there, today donning a cute cream sweater and black skinnies. He’s leaning over to watch something on Jeongin’s phone with Seungmin, and looks up when they arrive, smiling like the sun.

It’s all Chan can do to try his best not to trip. For a moment there, he really wishes this was just a day out with friends, for fun.

“I hope you guys are ready for today's challenge!” Jisung announces, then, and Chan sighs deeply. “I don’t need to remind you of the stakes.”

“You talk enough,” Minho says, not looking up from his phone ( _“Babe!”)_ , while Hyunjin boos him. “Let’s just bowl.”

“Yes!” Felix beams, and despite the overwhelming stress, Chan smiles. _At least one of us is having fun._

*

Chan has acknowledged, many times, that Han Jisung has very a specific type of luck. Things generally tend to go his way, even if he messes up just about every step in the process. He’s the type to study the wrong topic the night before an exam and have it somehow come out as 50% of the final grade.

Chan is not a lucky man. He is a hard won, tenuous level of _decent holistic excellence_ through sheer blood, sweat and tears, and a sprinkling of what Changbin calls, in English, his _krisma_.

Hence it makes sense that tonight, every decision Han Jisung makes would send Chan’s life into a deeper spiral of agony.

First, the teams – because as it turns out, Kim Seungmin is not the skinny bespectacled kid Chan once knew in high school. He also apparently received a different memo from the one Jisung was handing out before this, because he bags a nonchalant spare on his first round and goes back to chatting Felix up about PUBG.

Jeongin gets an _eight_ , and doesn’t seem to catch Chan’s panicked and confused eye when he’s walking back from the lane.

Minho gets a gutter ball, but so does Jisung, which ties their scores evenly on that front.

And then there’s _Felix_ , who dilly-dallies during his turn, wobbling a little when he picks up the ball and laughing sheepishly. Then he walks right up to the lane and scores a strike.

Chan would be in love if he wasn’t so fucking _terrified._

His only consolation is that Hyunjin and Changbin are as reliably decent as predicted, but he still whispers out a: “ _what’s going on??_ ” when Jisung heads back.

“It’ll be fine, hyung, it’s just the start of the game,” Jisung waves, but he doesn’t look very convinced. “Anyway, you’ll be able to put us ahead, won’t you?”

Second, the positioning. _Best for last_ , is what Jisung had insisted, and while Minho had assigned himself as fourth on the other team as some form of reassurance, it also puts an incredible weight on Chan’s shoulders.

He feels downright nauseous when he steps up, bowling ball in hand. _Is it right foot first or left foot first? Did I always go with the ten pound, or the eight pound?_

It doesn’t help that out of the corner of his eye, he can see everyone watching. _Everyone_. Including Felix.

But he should be a pro at dealing with stress. He’s on the swim team, for crying out loud. This is going to be fine, he thinks to himself. An eight or nine would be fine.

Chan steps forward, feeling a flimsy confidence beginning to build. Aiming, he lets the ball go.

*

It is not an eight or nine.

He gets a _two_. This progresses to a gutter, then a one, then another gutter.

For once, Chan is grateful that he’s friends with Minho, who laughs with increasing hysteria with every 0 that pops up on the screen. Anything’s better than the polite, embarrassed silence of Hyunjin and Seungmin, especially when the former is actually aware of what’s at stake (even if he seems to be more upset about being on the losing team than the prospect of Chan’s eternal celibacy).

Changbin also yells out a fiery _yah,_ _Bang Chan!_ at round 2, which at least that makes it sound like Chan’s trolling, and not just actually a fucking abysmal bowler.

“Are you okay, hyung? Are you okay?” Jisung cups his hands around his mouth to yell, when Chan’s standing at the lane, mystified at his _fifth_ gutter. A flowery giggle follows shortly after, and Chan turns, still slightly mortified, to see Felix laughing, a hand over his mouth.

Chan really wants to die.

Their reprieve comes halfway through the round, when Felix and Jeongin go to the washroom.

“ _Hyung_!” Jisung just about collapses to his knees. “You’re supposed to be _winning!”_

“I know we all have bad days,” Changbin snorts. “But this was a _really bad_ day to have a bad day, hyung.”

“Look,” Chan says, the epitome of stress. He can feel the wax melting out of his hair from the flush on the back of his neck and ears. “I underperform when I’m stressed, okay?”

“Well then I sure hope for Felix’s sake you don’t get stressed in bed, hyung,” Hyunjin says flatly, not looking up from his phone.

Jisung snorts, but the one who laughs the loudest is Seungmin, sitting by the other lane, who claps a hand over his mouth and blushes pink after that. “Oops,” he whispers. “Sorry.”

“Look, Jisung,” Chan says, trying to ignore the way Hyunjin’s winking coyly at the student council’s general secretariat. “Aside from the fact that we probably shouldn’t have bet on something like this in the first place, maybe all this is a sign, Sungie,” he cracks a weak smile at the wide-eyed, distressed look on Jisung’s face. In the distance, Felix and Jeongin come back in through the glass doors, and his heart sinks. “Maybe this is just the universe saying no.”

*

They end the game with Minho getting a casual strike, apparently tired of sucking, and Chan managing to eke out two pins off either side. He realizes that he’s going to be late for his volunteer session, and, mumbling something about needing to rush off when everyone’s screaming about Minho’s strike, hurries off to pay.

He catches a glimpse of Felix with the rest when he’s at the counter, while the cashier rings up the bill, jumping and hugging Minho so hard they almost fall over, and despite himself, smiles at the sight.

“Is this the bill for everyone? I’ll pay,” Chan says, taking his shoes from the counter. _It’s the least I can do, after that disaster_.

He has little time to stew in shame after that, amidst rushing to the community assistance tuition centre near the university, and forcibly seating his rowdy handful of elementary schoolers down for English lessons. It’s only when they’re ten minutes to closing that Chan finally gets to sit down and process what’s just happened.

_Well, there goes that._

It’d makes sense that the one time he actually wracks up the courage and puts himself out there, _this_ shit happens.

Chan sighs, pressing the heel of his palms in his eyes. He’s so fucking _tired._ Tired of hoping, and trying, and believing, and then realizing that a certain type of happiness was just wasn’t made for him.

“Saem, are you having a headache?”

It’s Wonyoung, the one girl in this centre that doesn’t give him a migraine, finishing up her comprehension exercise. She has a rose clip in her hair today. “Do you need some paracetamol?”

“No, it’s okay,” Chan sighs, a bit distracted by how someone her age knows words like _paracetamol_. “Saem did something embarrassing today.”

Wonyoung puts a hand over her mouth, looking grave. “Did you choke on milk and have it come out of your nose?”

“Uh, no, I didn’t, Wonnie,” Chan says, resuming his marking. _At least that would’ve been over faster_. “But it was pretty bad,” he sighs.

The little girl nods seriously. Chan thinks that’s the end of the conversation, which is probably why his guard drops.

“Was it in front of someone you liked?”

Chan short circuits for a good two seconds, furiously rewinding their conversation in his head and wondering if he’d accidentally said anything with a PG-13 rating. “Uh,” he coughs. “Why would you ask that, Wonyoung?”

“Wonshik oppa,” she gestures, conjuring an imaginary image of her older brother. “He choked on milk in front of his girlfriend, and his ears got really red like that, too,” Wonyoung points to the side of Chan’s head.

“No, no, it wasn’t in front of a girlfriend. It was in front of uh, a friend,” Chan says briskly, covering his ears. “And this friend was really important to me. But it doesn’t matter. Let’s go through this paper before you have to go home, okay? Do you understand the grammar mistake here?”

“I told Wonshik oppa that in the movies, the boy always chases after the girl in the rain,” Wonyoung visualizes, completely ignoring Chan. “And then they kiss! And then the boy says, I thought you were mad at me! And the girl will hit him, and then she’ll say, I love you, pabo, and I was going to be madder if you didn’t come to find me, and then-…”

“Wonyoung, Saem’s life isn’t a movie.”

“Well,” the little girl huffs, putting her hands on her hips. “Did you chase after your friend in the rain and tell them you love them?”

“…Well, no, but-…”

“Then?”

Chan sighs, closing the book and leaning back now that they aren’t going to get this done. “I know it’s hard to understand because television doesn’t tell you anything else, but sometimes the chase isn’t the most important thing. Sometimes it’s what happens afterwards. You’ll get it when you’re older, Wonyoungie.”

The girl shrugs, scribbling down the correct answer on her worksheet and quickly pushing it over to Chan. “Wonshik oppa always says we can worry about those things when they come,” she grabs her bag, waving as she sprints over to her friends, who start tumbling over each other to get to the door. “Thank you Saem! See you next week!”

*

Chan has a lot on his mind when he gets back.

He tries (unsuccessfully) to convince himself that he’s not actually thinking about acting on the life advice of a tiny elementary schooler and her milk-snorting brother.

Sighing, he pushes the exercise books back into the shelf at the club room after he’s finished the debrief. _You’re going to have to face him again eventually._

“Oppa, do you mind,” someone says anxiously, and Chan turns to see Yeji there, holding a bunch of bags. “Do you mind carrying these over to the Council room with me? They’re goodie bags for the career fair.”

“Yeah, sure,” Chan shakes himself out of it, taking the bags from her. “Did Chaeyoung make you carry these? I can yell at her for you,” he jokes.

“No, no it’s okay, I don’t mind,” Yeji says hurriedly.

It takes a moment to trundle over to the other room and set everything down where it’s supposed to be, and Chaeyoung gives them sponsored bottles of Ediya coffee as thanks. Chan’s on the way out when he catches sight of someone, and hesitates.

“Yeji-ah, see you next week!” he waves to the younger girl, who waves back avidly, before he heads over to the figure hunched over his notes.

“Hey, Minnie.”

Seungmin looks up, straightening his glasses. “Oh, hello hyung. Did you have to hurry off for your session just now? Thanks for paying, you should’ve seen how happy Jeongin was.”

“No problem,” Chan pats Seungmin’s back. “You were really good today, you and Felix practically hard carried the team.”

“Thanks,” Seungmin beams. “Anything for the dare, right?”

Some part of Chan’s brain does a double take right then.

“Wait,” he blinks. “You knew about the dare?”

“Um, yeah?” Seungmin says slowly. “Didn’t we all know about the dare?”

_Wait, but then that means…_

“ _Yah_ ,” Chan lightly punches the younger boy’s shoulder in jest, laughing. “You knew about the dare and you didn’t help me out? You got _three_ strikes! In a row!”

The sophomore blinks, confused. “Yeah, that helped, didn’t it?”

Now Chan is thoroughly puzzled. “But your team won.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin says slowly, like he’s suddenly not sure of how much he should be saying. “…didn’t Felix tell you what he wanted if he won?”

*

It takes him a while, but Chan manages to find Felix at the wooden picnic benches outside the lecture theatre.

His back is facing Chan, still in that cream sweater, and he’s chatting animatedly with a guy – a sophomore from one of the Sports clubs. They both look very interested in whatever they’re talking about.

For a good few seconds, Chan’s locked in an internal debate with himself, and a voice that sounds a lot like Changbin saying _eligible bachelor material_. Chan sighs. _Do you want this or do you not?_

Time to employ some of that _krisma_. 

Chan takes a deep breath, and stops by their table. “Hey Felix,” the younger boy looks up in surprise. “And…Eric, right? Baseball?” He smiles faintly. “We met at the dinner and dance last year.”

“Yeah. Hello, Chan-hyung,” the other boy looks up with a confused smile. Variations of positivity tend to be the default response to any approach from Chan, which probably would be the case here, if not for the kindly but unnerving aura coming from him. “Is this about the captains’ engagement next week?”

“Actually,” Chan turns back to the reason why he’s here, heart speeding up at the look on Felix’s face. “I was wondering if I could talk to Felix for a bit.”

If anyone were to read that sentence off a page, it might seem like the question’s addressed to Eric. But from Chan’s gaze, the weight in his voice, the way the air seems to still between Chan and Felix right then, it’s clear who he’s really asking.

For a moment, none of them speak. Then Felix clears his throat, not taking his eyes off Chan.

“Yeah, Eric, maybe I’ll catch you another time,” he says, glancing over at the other boy with a polite smile. “Thanks for helping me with the tutorial.”

“Sure, let me know if you need any help,” the sophomore stands uncertainly, glancing between them as he gathers his notes. He teeters at the corner for a moment. “See you, ‘Lix. And uh, see you around, Chan-hyung.”

Felix takes his time gathering his things for a moment, waiting till the other boy’s down the stairs towards the quad, before looking up with that same dozy smile. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Chan says, feeling a little dazed. “Sorry I had to run off just now.”

“It’s okay. Duty calls,” Felix shrugs. “Shame that you didn’t get to see Minho’s victory run.”

“Yeah, shame,” Chan sinks onto the bench, letting his bag slip off his shoulder. “Hope you managed to have some fun with that.”

“Oh yeah, I had lots of fun,” the younger boy says, leaning forward so his chin rests on his bottle. There’s a cool, daring aftertaste in his words. Neither of them are talking about the elephant in the room, and Felix is making it clear that he won’t be the first to start. “Did you?”

“Yeah,” Chan smiles. At least, with this, he can be truthful. “Seeing you guys laugh all afternoon…it felt worth it.”

Felix stares into his eyes for a little eternity after that, cogs turning almost audibly in that lovely mind of his. The older boy notices the concealer on his face has worn off, just enough for his freckles to peek through, like a game of hide and seek in the dimness. 

“Well, you’ve chased him off,” Felix nods towards the stairs. His tone is both gentle and playful. “Are we just going to talk about bowling?”

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something,” Chan’s surprised that he doesn’t feel nervous – it feels a little like staying up all night for a presentation, and walking into the tutorial room on forty-five minutes of sleep and a double shot espresso. “I bumped into Seungmin in the Council room just now, and he told me something.”

Felix doesn’t say anything, just watches and waits with those mooning dark eyes.

“He said…you decided what you wanted. If you won.”

“I did,” Felix replies, leaving it there. He has this tell when he’s nervous, Chan realizes – he leans into his hand, fingers discreetly checking his pulse. It’s quite possibly the cutest thing Chan has seen, and an ache springs up in him to know more, to find out all the things about Felix that are cute.

“He didn’t tell me what, though,” Chan continues. “He said I needed to hear it from you.”

Felix mutters something that sounds like _that bastard_ under his breath, and Chan laughs. At least that breaks the strange tension between them for a while, lets him breathe a little easier.

“Okay, you got me there,” the younger boy looks up, still fiddling with his bottle. “I’ll be honest, I actually knew Seungmin since high school, he’s the one who tutored me in Korean. I told him about you after that lunch we all had together. I didn’t think we'd bump into him that day,” he complains, still unbelievably cute.

“Well, you two played it off really slick, I had no idea,” Chan says with a dry smile. "You got Jeongin on your side too?"

"Yeah. Minnie didn't have a clue about Jisung's dare. Innie just wanted to watch the world burn," Felix says, with a pleased smirk. "You're not the only one who wants to win, you know?" 

"I'll bet," Chan says slowly, still watching Felix. “So…what is it you wanted to win?”

Felix sobers up a little at this, looking away like he's embarrassed despite the showiness of just now, biting his lower lip. “Well, I told them that if I won…you’d have to go out with me.”

Chan’s ridden many rollercoasters in his life before. At the start, there’s always the dread of the first drop, followed immediately by a series of emotions – relief, exhilaration, but also, a resounding _wait, now what?_ , the answer to which you only have a split second to ponder, because that’s how long there is until the next 360 degree loop.

“Well,” Chan says slowly, trying to dampen his heart drumming in his chest. “This sounds like it could be a win-win.”

Felix shrugs again. “It depends on what you want.”

Chan chuckles. “But my dare, the one that started this whole mess-…”

“Ah, not _your_ dare, hyung. That was Jisung’s dare,” Felix leans in. “I have to ask, Chris. What do _you_ want?”

If Chan were on a rollercoaster, this would be the point at the top of the 360-degree loop. The momentum from earlier pushing him on, his avid desire for this part of the ride to finally end pulling him forward.

“Can I ask you something?” Chan asks quietly. “What you want from this…do you want me to be your boyfriend? Or do you want me to be honest with you?”

“I want you,” the younger boy replies without hesitation. “Is that okay?”

Chan chuckles drily. “Felix, I really like you, you know that? I haven’t liked anyone like this in a really long time. And – and if we’re going to start anything, I want to tell you everything.”

The younger boy just nods.

“These commitments that I have in school, and everything I do outside of it, they’re all – they’re things that are important to me. I wouldn’t do them if they weren’t. And,” he struggles visibly for a second. “It’s not a matter of you or them. Does that make sense? It’s me, just a work in progress, trying to figure out how to fit all these things together. And I know I’ll get there eventually, it’s just a matter of…” he shrugs. “If you want to stick around till then.”

“I can wait,” Felix says. _I know there’s more to this than what you’re talking about right now,_ is what his eyes say. _But I can wait._ He looks at Chan for a moment. “You don’t believe me?”

“Not that I don’t. It’s just – I would want to be everything that you need too,” Chan says carefully. “But I don’t know if I can. I won’t know if I can until I realise that I can’t. You know what I mean?”

Felix leans onto an open palm, looking up at Chan through his long lashes and messy blond hair. “I think we can deal with that when we get to it,” he smiles. “What do you say, hyung?”

The rollercoaster in Chan’s heart comes to a windblown, relief-inducing decline. He knows one day he’s going to pick up the snapshot of this ride in the far future and remember every single second of it. “We could give it a shot,” he smiles tightly.

“Okay,” Felix lights up. “Can I kiss you?”

Never mind. The rollercoaster continues. “Sure,” Chan replies, a little dazed.

He expects Felix to lean over the table, or walk over to Chan’s side and kiss him, but Felix pushes his bag aside on the table, hopping up with an incredible dexterity that Chan’s certain (or certainly hopes, at least) he’ll get well acquainted with in the days to come. Leaning over, legs dangling off the side of the table, he kisses Chan, pulling back after a second with a coyness unbefitting of someone currently in his position.

Once again, it’s both baffling and so, so very curious. Chan finds himself hoping feverishly that he never gets tired of this.

“Wait,” the older boy says breathlessly before they kiss again, mind filled with the scent of Felix, the warmth of his cream sweater, the way he’s now leaning into Chan’s space, watching him with those eyes made of molten chocolate. “We shouldn’t be doing this here, someone could walk by.”

“Mm, maybe I like an audience,” Felix smiles, a dangerous little flash of white, and Chan resists the urge to groan right there. “Kidding. Back to yours?” He slides off the table, almost right into Chan’s lap, an armful of sleepy kitten. _Kitten_ might be right, with the way he purrs: “Although I really want you right _now_.”

“We could go back to mine,” Chan says, still a little dizzy. “Or, we could…give that couch in the Council room a little more to see, if you want.”

Felix blinks, surprised and a little insulted, probably at himself for not having thought of that earlier. “Sounds like a plan,” he smiles.

**_epilogue_ **

Felix’s hand feels like fire and ice in Chan’s as they all but run over to the room in the semi-darkness, giggling and stumbling like high school kids. “Will there be anyone inside?”

“There better not be,” Chan grunts, slipping out the key from where it’s hidden behind the mailbox to unlock the door. Felix laughs again, arms wrapped around Chan’s bicep and kissing up the side of his neck. “It’s almost midnight, everyone should be-…”

Someone yelps just as the door opens, and Chan would’ve slammed the door right back shut if not for the fact that he can barely see anything in the darkness. “Excuse me?”

“That’s right, excuse _you_ ,” someone snaps from the infamous couch. All it takes is a split second for Chan’s eyes adjust just enough to see Hyunjin sitting on his heels, one side of his unzipped windbreaker slipping off his pale shoulder, comfortably straddling someone on the cushions.

“ _Minnie_?”

“Hi,” Seungmin says, with the air of someone concussed but also very happy about it. “Please close the door.”

“Sorry, this couch is taken,” Hyunjin singsongs, as Felix stifles an outburst of giggles from beside Chan while they stumble back out. “You’ll have to get your own!”

Chan firmly chooses to ignore the muffled _congratulations, by the way!_ as he starts off stiffly.

“I suppose we’ll have to settle for your place, then.”

“Ugh, I don’t think I’m in the mood, after that,” Chan makes a face. _When’d they even get together?_

Felix all but sways in front of him, then, arms around the back of his neck, smiling that sweet, brown sugar smile. “Tough luck,” he murmurs, against Chan’s lips, and just like that, Chan forgets what they were even talking about before this. “I think we can change that.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys had as much fun with this as i did!! this chanlix dynamic is my absolute favourite and i honestly couldn't resist shoehorning seungjin somewhere in there too
> 
> was highkey tempted to make it longer once i got further into this universe (especially minsung....... GAH minsung) but halfway through i was like you know what.... they gotta get together NOW or i'm gonna lose it. so here we are.
> 
> comments and kudos will be much loved and appreciated!! tell me more about your favourite chanlix/minsung/seungjin uni au dynamics please ;u;
> 
> let's be friends! ;u;   
> writing twt: @symmetrophobic 


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